State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
