First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
