Got a toothbrush?
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
