Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize