i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
