I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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