Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
