I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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