turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize