I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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