yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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