just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
ok first of all what the fuck
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
