It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
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So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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