Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
