Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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