I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
