i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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