I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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