He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
