everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
