yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I want to fling myself into the sun
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
