I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
