there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I have peed in a lot of sinks
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
