I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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