Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
