You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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