Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
