Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
