This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
