Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
