hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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