fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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