sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
