cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
