New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
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I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
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Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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