i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
