Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
