were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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