Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
