Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
