someone get that fucking seahorse.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
