Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
