i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We are two peas in an std pod
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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