its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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