What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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