I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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