I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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