Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
