you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
