if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
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you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
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I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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