I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
