ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
