The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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