I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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