if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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