you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i dont even know how to be here
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
the raccoons are back...
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